my minds all muddled like a rainwater puddle

so it's school again.. and i finally finished my english speech choir thank god! all the panic attacks and **maka-high** moments because of all the rugby used (i don't know how people can get high on rugby, just gave me this awful headache). hahaha, romina saw a small picture of what i went through. :D but in the end it was all worth it. my group mates did amazingly well! woohoo! yay us! xD

ooh, earlier today before i had to go to sm i was listening to the radio and boyceavenue was playing!! i could recognize his voice anywhere. he was playing "bleeding love" :D my gosh, so they've gotten on the radio now have they? that's so amazing :) i also heard another one of their songs on the radio but the title has eluded me temporarily.. oh well, still cool they've gotten this far :)

so i STILL don't know what my grade is in political science... sir said he already has the grades and it's driving me insane because he knows it and i.. ;laksjdf;lkajdf.. DONT. uggh, my life (ok, not my life, but the life of my grades) is precariously balanced on a thin line between OK and NOT okay.. aack!

hmm.. i'm super duper tired.. as in really.. but! i had one more topic in mind.. i kind of forgot about it now.. hmmmm... i don't remember :S maybe it's because i'm tired.. but i have this feeling that i really wanted to talk about it.. but now, i dont remember.. aah

oh well, i think the solitude has gotten to me. yesterday, while i was getting dressed i realized i was actually talking to myself! as in really.. it creeps me out. : thank god i have tamala.. i can talk to her and pretend she's listening to me. BUT! this taste of independence is actually kind of thrilling... to know that you actually have the freedom to test out the dark waters that were once prohibited is exhilirating. what's more exhilirating though is the fact that with the barriers gone, with no more restrictions, i have the chance to find out who i really am. for one thing, i realize that no matter how hard anyone tries to influence me, i have this strong unwavering perspective when it comes to smoking. even though i respect those who do choose to smoke, i've realized with a shocking clarity that i dont want to smoke. ever. i do have the chance to try it out one day and maybe i will, you never know, but now, i have no inclination to want to do anything like that. nonewhatsoever. haha. and i've figured out other things too like how i enjoy being alone at home with a good book to read, or the fact that i've sort of adjusted to this life of newfound responsibilities and though it looked daunting at first, taking on the responsibilities that were on the capable shoulders of my sister before she left to manila isn't as hard as i thought it'd be. :D gosh, this feeling of competence is something. haha

SLEEPOVER DURING SEMBREAK! can't wait xD

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY HANNICA!! LOVE YOU! oxox

dedicated to him :)

it's the end of fiesta! and with fiesta in mind there's always another event that comes along.. so! i decided to write a poem :D

i pray

i look at the sky
cool and majestic
i close my eyes
and wish you were here.

my thoughts all jumbled
trying to make sense
of what used to be
and now, current reality

i remember the pain
the surreal feeling of loss
the agony of not knowing why
and then.. peaceful closure

the wind picks up
tells me a secret messaage
i open my eyes
and smile

with the wind's whispers
thanking God, i begin to pray
somewhere, somehow... i know
you're doing okay.





i miss you lolo.
happy 1st year of being in heaven. :)

broken... love?

i've realized that this generation has a very tragic perception of love. i was reading a person's blog a few weeks ago and it was all about (yes, you guessed it) love. only, the poems were sad and heart-breaking and the stories always had more or less the same ending:

"...and he left her forever."

Watching the dance showdown yesterday only deepened my belief that teenagers nowadays feel that love will always end with unbearable hurt or pain. I mean seriously, i lost count to how many dances ended with the guy walking away leaving the girl in anguished despair or vice versa. what happened to the butterflies-in-your-tummy-light-headed-feeling-giddy kind of love? does that still exist? or has our world tumbled into a black hole of nothingness and despair? i certainly hope not or me and orlando bloom will never stand a chance.

:D

oh well, it was just something i had to point out... teenagers need hope man!

ooh, here's a quote for you:

"To dare is to lose one's footing temporarily. To not dare is to lose oneself."

- Soren Kierkegaard

written at the back of the philosophy shirts :D thanks khal!

**walleee tomorrow!** :D:D

1st day of solitude

the office is spick-and-span.

the bed is made up.

clothes aren't strewn all over the room.

no more incessant guitar strumming into the night.

the bed-sofa has actually been put upright.

no more off-tune singing.

the bathroom lights haven't been left on.

no distractions when studying

no more shouting

or weird sleeping habits

or being constantly bossed around

it's peaceful.

absolute tranquility.



just me








oh how i despise solitude.

fiestaa xD

it's 2:25 am and i have school in the morning! haha, well, at the moment i have a gazillion things running through my mind so you know what that means? enumeration time! haha

1) fiesta! wooohoo, ka.excited na gud ako para sa fiesta.. pero alam mo gud? di ko makasali sa parade. :( as in! i'm in charge of the whooziwhatsits or whatever.. the lighting for the dance showdown! oh well, it's still going to be funnn :D

2) my sisters are leaving tomorrow :( or today! cuz it's 2:25am. hahaha, ay ui. oh well, i'll just go crazy during fiesta, maybe that way i won't notice that they're gone. haha......... yeah right.

3) omgosh, my camera! i have to get it back from my uncle tita flora! (yes, we call him tita flora for obvious reasons). but i think he's in cebu. :S oh no oh no oh noooo

4) english speech choir! now i know how lex and alyssa felt when they were put in charge of the whole presentation thing for the contests back in addu high.. it's nerve-racking! i just had to go do rock-paper-scissors with the other group person.. now i'm incharge of the whole speech choir thing (you guys know "the congo"??? its supposedly a chant) and if they do badly then that means i suck as a leader, which i already know but i dont want other people knowing that.. hahahahhaa, atik lang, it's just scary, i don't know how it's going to turn out yet.. tabangi ko lord (hahaha, i learned that in nstp!! woohoo)

5) nstp! omgosh, did you know it's like an hour drive from school all the way to gawad kalinga in calinan?? i slept on the jeepney cuz it was sooo long... but the place was really peaceful! it had rice fields and everything and the air wasn't polluted and it was actually pretty cool. it was relaxing :D

6) uhh.. omgosh, i'm blank now

7) right! it's 2:32 on the laptop clock and i should probably be going to bed.. and my sisters are supposed to be packing but they're not :D maybe i could put a knives in their hand carries or something so they wouldn't be let through.. hmmmm. :D

no, don't worry, im not that crazy. omgosh, i just remembered! i have a number 8!!

8) last friday.. with my stupid high heels I alksdjfa;lskdjfaksld tripped!! not the kind where you sort of slide or something and it's all over in a matter of seconds. noooo, it's the type where you literally fly in the air and you're just about to land on ur knees but because of some miracle you still manage to land (unsteadily i might add) on ur 2 feet. yeah, my room was facing the the elevators and the floor outside the door was elevated like about an inch or two so you had to step just a little bit higher in order to pass. well, you know clumsy lil ol' me, i saw 2 of my classmates come out of the elevator and started walking towards them so i could say hi (yes, im annoying that way.. hahaha) when my shoe slammed right into that elevated floor part and i FLEWWWWWW in the air and landed on my feet but my upper body was bent forward and my arms were waving wildly trying to gain balance which i eventually did but not before my 2 classmates and a few other people inside the class (thank god the other people were too busy doing their own thing to notice) saw me trip.

now whenever i see the 2 classmates of mine they have that hahaha-i-know-what-happened-on-the-5th-floor kind of smile. yes, it was indeed a wonderful experience. not. hahaha, gosh, i wish i wasn't so clumsy.

hmm. that more or less raps (wraps??) it up :D

soo many movies i have to watch: harry potter, wall-e, twilight. oh and gossip girl in september! woohoo! only that's not a movie but anyways xD

poker soothes me

all the teachers have decided to show our prelim grades this week. i don't know why. they're just sadistic people who like giving grades all at once so they could watch their students suffer from massive depression and heart attacks. or maybe it's because the deadline to submitting the prelim grades is this week. no, but i believe the other reason is more plausible.

hahaha, no, but seriously, i am a;lkdfjalksdjf a;sd scared for my prelim grades. i've been severely slacking off to the point where i had to pull an all-nighter... TWICE! and i don't know if that helped at all. surprisingly though, my IS211 grade was ok... thank god for the realist, liberal and marxist theoretical perspectives!! but my PS212 subject on the other hand (vina, help meee!! switch nalang tayo beh :D hahahah)... gak, im friggin scarrreeddddd. :(( lord help me.

you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to play poker. :D because poker soothes me and it's oh-so-fun without having to use real money.

you know what? using a camera under water is oh-so-thrilling :D i'm like **puts camera in water** "ok, it's so going to breakkkkkkk" **takes it out of water** "aack, it didn't! it's still working! yihihihihihihi, let's do it againnnnn". the technology now-a-days simply astounds me :D

can you say ignorant?? hahaha

100th post!!

it's 1am and my legs hurt like crazy and i want to sleep. but tada! insomnia. gung's playing the guitar and nikki's using the internet. anyhooo, saturday! whataday, whataday. twas really fun ^^

7:00am - woke up to kristine laughing at me cuz i was apparently sleeping "weird". hahaha, she's so mean

9:30am - left the house and went to school by taxi. did ya know that there's a 10peso increase to taxi fares?? yeah, you have to pay an additional 10 pesos to whatever the fare is. they have an official seal and everything. haha, but! my day started pretty well cause the taxi didn't have a seal or anything so i didn't have to pay the additional 10 pesos!

10:00am - PE! gak, pe.. so like, i'm not really good at serving... i don't even know how to play volleyball very well! but with the help of john (thank you john!) i got 4.. out of 5! woohoo, yeah, pe's fun :D

1:30 - 4-30pm - blech, nstp. next week though we're going to the gawad kalinga community or something.. sounds like real fun! :D i have a paper filled with bisaya sayings and everything.. (thanks mau! haha)

5:00pm - started the ever so long walk from school to my house!! seriously. why? because i was dared to, and i like to walk so i did it! and now my legs hurt :S oh the painnn... but no, i really enjoyed myself actually, because i walked! plus its always fun to walk with company. haha

6:45pm - arrived home!! it nearly took 2 hours man.. you wouldn't believe how much water i drank after the whole thing! o.O

8:00pm - slept! cuz i was tired from all the walking.. i woke up at around 10.. hahaha

11:00pm - kristine finally gathered enough courage to try her camera in water! yay gung! :)

and now it's 1:30! and i have a bunch of stuff to study tomorrow for monday.. oh well.. fiesta is coming up! :) im excited. tralalalala

i know it's only august..... but i can't wait to watch TWILIGHT!! ^^ tihihi