new life perspective

at the beginning of the new year i was seriously depressed. yeah, i know, depressed isnt being 'really sad' its when you start crying uncontrollably without knowing the reason why. that's exactly how i was, cept i knew the reason why i was crying. on the 6th of january my uncle died because of a heart attack. he helped my dad with stuff over here, so basically i saw him everyday. we talke, laughed and simply enjoyed each other's company. it didn't really hit me till after the funeral. Even during the wake i was half expecting him to wake up in his coffin and ask us what we were doing there. but obviously that didn't happen. i wanted to tell someone, anyone about it so i could let it all out but the thing was, i didn't want to cry so i suppressed it and kept it all in (i know, pretty stupid right?). oh, did i mention that my dog died the same day? at the same hour as well. she was sick for about a week and she was at an animals clinic. my sister said she died because of loneliness while others say that when my uncle died he took lexus with him since she was sick. i guess we'll never know.

when i found out that my uncle died, i couldn't believe it. then an hour later we received a call saying that lexus died. we were coming back from sri lanka that day and he was supposed to pick us up from the airport the next day. his death was so swift and sudden; i was in a state of shock. even when i found out lexus died i didnt cry. i mean, it was all so surreal. i guess i refused to believe that my "peacful, little world" could take a turn for the worst. kind of foolish right? i guess we all take life for granted sometimes. we can never really believe anything that tragic could happen to us until it finally does.

i finally let all the grief, the pain and everything else out when i found out someone i knew had cervical cancer. i guess it was all too much for me to handle. my friend had a brain tumor, now someone else has cancer and within a span of 3 months ive already endured 3 deaths all of which were animals or people (hmm.. make that person) that i loved quite dearly and cared a lot about. i cried and cried.. and cried some more. at least now i can say i let most of the pain out. lol, and im feeling much much better. :)

anyway, the whole point of this post is to give a little piece of advice. dont take life for granted. don't assume that nothing could happen to the people you love cause the reality is, life could be taken away in the blink of an eye. i know, you guys hear that in like a million chain letters but take it from a person that didn't believe that till it actually happened. be happy for all the triumphs as well as hardships in your life because your alive. it means something to be able to wake up everyday and even though you may be unhappy, be happy to know that you have a chance to change things in your life. be happy for al the small things in your life. smile. :) you're alive.

Isabelo Estoque and Lexus

Rest in Peace